Real Life: Atmospheric River part 2
Here’s part 2!
I heard the lift completely stop. It was evident that they closed it down for the day. This was it. I was done for. But not without a fight! I strapped in and prayed for gravity to move me in the right direction. I was on my way for about 5 feet until the snow was so heavy and deep that I sank into it.
Come on Jacent! Call the ski patrol! Save me!
Okay, no one is coming…dig and pull the board up…take it off.
Ok ok ok. Momma can do this.
I put the board very gingerly on the snow in front of me, careful not to let it take off without me. I had to let it slide a little bit so I knew which direction to head down because I was disoriented again. I patted the surrounding area down with the board to create more of a hardened surface and pulled myself up out of the snow and on top of the fragile platform I made. I made another call. This time directly to voicemail. Voicemail FULL. FUCK. A really loud, at the top of my lungs, FUCK!!!
Ssshhh Steph, you could start an avalanche with that mouth.
For the next hour or more I would go through the same process using the board as a kind of sled. I had to hold the tip of the board up or it would just bury itself in the snow and I would stop. I could go about 10 -15 feet and then start the process of digging out, patting down a platform, pulling myself back on the board, and again and again. It was clear to me that I was on an un-groomed run, and I had no certainty that I was actually going down - and it turned out that I wasn’t. I was mostly traversing somehow. My method was exhausting and at points I would put the board over my shoulders and try to walk through the snow drifts while imagining I was Sly Stone in Rocky IV but while singing a mashup of Independent Women and Survivor by Destiny’s Child. That option was not a real option. I eventually arrived at a somewhat groomed run and strapped back in and exhaustedly rode down to the lodge. I didn’t die. Jacent had a brush with death however shortly thereafter. When I found my family he said “Oh! There you are! I was just about to see if somebody could go check on you.” Just about to. I was out there for over two hours struggling to save myself from freezing to death and/or falling into a crevice, and he was just about to call for some help.
Also, somewhat random thought, I will never go on a cruise. To be in the middle of the ocean, the one that is controlled by Mother Nature, is a huge hell no for me. No matter how great you make it look Disney - you can keep it.