Happy Mother's Day
I am holding on. I found that I really cannot do it all. Silly me at 45 thinking that I could somehow manage to. I’ve fallen many times, but I still keep striving to get it all done.
The first year is always the hardest year when opening up any shop. Thankfully that is behind us - we are breaking even (yeah!!!).
Resilience is a process. It builds up over time. My family is in the midst of preparing to move while I continue to be the boss lady of 2 companies, a mom, a wife, a sibling, a friend… All of these things in combination have forced me to be resilient. I have also moved over a dozen times in my life so I’m going to handle it! My kids are up for the challenge as well and shifting the situation from sad to exciting.
But I can’t always fall back on that resilience - it’s exhausting to maintain strength. So we are going to reel it all in and try to live a happier life together with fewer obstacles. There will be more stress ahead as moving can be out of control, and I am a person who needs to have some semblance of the elusive control thing. But I have a cure all for these tests. Madigan and Hank.
No matter how much shit I step in, they are my everything - my push to move forward because nothing matters when they express their love to “the mamma” - that’s me, and my reason for being. Two anecdotes as of late which perfectly illustrate their personalities and tickle me are the following.
Madigan “Mom, you tell me you love me so often that one day it might just lose it’s effectiveness.” I laughed so hard - she is right! Every opportunity I get I tell her I love her so much - I mean, there’s no denying it… I love her with all that I have, so effective or not I can’t stop. Won’t stop. Sorry not sorry.
And then Hank… this kid. I dropped him off at school this morning and headed to work. I was doing my morning routine and I don’t put my ringer on until I am sat down to properly be able to take and make calls. Unfortunately I missed one important one. The Principle even texted me to tell me that Hank really wanted to talk to me. It was 8 minutes from the time she texted to the time I called back - an eternity! Nobody knew what was wrong. When Hank picked up my return phone call he told me that he needed to tell me something but that I drove off too fast for him to get it out. I asked him what was going on and he whispered “I love you.” That was it and it was so important to both of us.
It is always a Happy Mother’s Day for me, and for all you mothers out there - breathe it in - you are loved.
P. S. While preparing for this move, I found this Mother’s Day card from Madigan, age 5.